February 17th, 2010 Jeff
As I was watching yet another uninformative episode of LOST, I began to think how much this show mirrored real life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that LOST was really just a metaphor for office life. Take the LOST story and put it in an office setting and see what you get.
A young man loses his job for some reason. At this point it’s not really important, but past is prologue and it will eventually be woven into our story. He leaves his job (Australia) in search for a new job that will offer him a new beginning. (LAX) Along the way however, the economy crashes into the shitter (Oceanic Flight 815) and he ends up at a company that was never on his career road map. (The Island)
This company has some seriously odd shit going on. There are other business unit managers there (survivors of Oceanic 815) who seem to have a mix-bag of history and personal problems. Ultimately most of the management team is trying to get out of the company, but some have reasons for wanting to stay.
There’s the slightly retarded manager of PR, who in any other company would be considered incapable of performing most of the tasks required of him. But because of the “uniqueness” of this company he manages to look like a super star. He knows there’s something about the company that gives him a stronger sense of purpose that he wouldn’t have in the real world. He tries his best to show everyone the light. (Locke)
Then there’s the manager of sales. He’s a mysterious fellow that tries to keep to himself. He’s sort of a lone wolf and looks at the rest of the management team simply as tools to get what he needs done. What the rest of the management team doesn’t know, is that half of his resume is bullshit. Not only is his MBA from a mail order facility in Tuskegee Ohio, but most of his work history references were calls to his high school football teammates. This guy is a bucket of lies and daddy issues. (Sawyer)
The cute little number who manages the call center is another shifty one you have to keep your eyes out for. She bats her eyelashes and makes you think that you can save her from herself. Underneath her cute exterior and her bright smile is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. She’s constantly on edge and sometimes her behavior seems completely erratic. She’s stuck at the company because she’s got 2 felonies that she didn’t disclose on her application. Thankfully the company doesn’t do background checks. Her next company might not be so accommodating. She’s better off here. (Kate)
No team is successful without a leader. As the group begins to gel a leader is selected. The Operations Manager (Jack) assumes the unwanted role. Despite his own ambitions, he knows that the team working together is far better than if the team works alone. As our new hire learns about the dynamics of his teammates he quickly realizes that getting out of the company is a long term goal. The short term goal is generating revenue to keep the company functioning long enough to make the great escape. (a.k.a Surviving on the island) The management team and their subordinates (those other 32 people on the island that tend to change season to season) begin to work together to keep the company solvent. But as they begin to explore their options on what the company has to offer, they run into one of the most dreaded and feared things anyone has ever seen. Office politics. (The smoke monster)
Nobody knows the source of office politics or who controls it. It comes and goes at will, sometimes laying waste to projects or even careers. Whenever the management team sees it showing its ugly head, panic ensues. Everyone runs for cover and if someone falls and is claimed by office politics, it’s generally accepted that there was nothing you could do to save them without throwing away your own career.
As the team tries to find a source for the politics, they stumble upon an unusual group. A group of men and women who seem to have been at the company long before they arrived and knows quite a bit about its inner workings. They’re even aware of the “Office Politics”. This group is referred to as “Information Technology” or “IT”. (The Others)
IT is a strange group. They have a single leader that interacts with the management team. He refers to himself as the “Business Liaison”. (Benjamin Linus) The business liaison treats the management team as if they’re children, fearing that too much information might make their heads explode. Instead he talks to them in cryptic phrases and sentences, giving them just enough information to trust him, but not enough to truly make any type of informed decision. He thrives on having more information than the people he interacts with, pushing them to an end goal that only he can see. While IT says it’s on the side of the business (the survivors), often times their actions seem self-serving and not in the best interest of the management team.
The arrival of the business liaison complicates things for the management team. Now someone else is stepping up to lead them. While some are happy to let the Operations Manager continue to lead, others are pissed off because he fucked up that TPS Report project and Bill from accounting ended up getting fired because of it. (See Jack’s long list of leadership failures) Internal bickering ensues amongst the management team. Some managers decide to rely heavily on the business liaison for guidance, while others continue to follow the Operations Manager. The split causes conflict amongst people who were friends, but have now been driven apart by their decisions. While they’re friendly when they run into each other in the cafeteria (the Jungle), they still return to their respective camps.
The internal structure of IT is complex.There are many parts to the organization that the management team has seen passing references to. Database support (The Swan), Web Support (The Looking Glass) and Change Management (The Hydra) just to name a few. The business liaison knows a lot about the groups, but will only answer your specific questions about them in vague, ass-hat type responses. Obviously your look of confusion is the only way this guy can sustain an erection. Instead of pressing on and grossing yourself out, you let it slide.
In Part 2 we’ll discuss how people manage to leave the company but then feel compelled to return. We’ll also dive into how the Business Liaison is really just a puppet for the CIO. (Jacob)
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January 16th, 2010 Jeff
I finally got the opportunity to see Avatar, the James Cameron film that is capable of curing cancer and reshaping the way we look at race relations in America. Based on previous recommendations and reviews of this film, I half expected that the War on Terror would instantly end after I left the theater. While it was a good movie and will ultimately be a great use case for original concept science fiction films, I didn’t feel it deserved all the hype it received.
I had two real concerns with the film, one being the villains overly simplified motivations and the second being the computer generated creatures, including but not limited to the Na’vi. It’s not the quality of the CGI as it was some of the best computer generated imagery I’ve seen yet. It’s more my preference in the style of imagery that’s generated. As I’m watching the film, I’m consistently jarred from my suspension of disbelief when I see the real world mixed with the artificial. It reminds me of drinking a diet coke unsuspectingly. The familiar characteristics of your favorite soft drink are sullied by the taste of aspartame.
This isn’t an issue specific to Avatar. I think the problem first came to light for me when the Star Wars Prequels were released. Lucas went a tad crazy on his use of computer generated imagery and it made the film seem strikingly different. The aliens in the film while more robust, alive and animated (bad pun) they are immediately recognized in my mind as not truly being part of the world. Instead of being immersed in the dialogue between Jar Jar and Obi Wan (ha..immersed with Jar Jar dialogue!) I can’t stop thinking about how far off Ewan McGreggor’s eye line is to the character he’s supposedly interacting with. Strange, I don’t remember feeling that way when Luke talked to Jabba the Hut. Because Jabba the Hut was there, albeit in the form of a puppet.
Yes I know, puppets are old school, puppets can’t swing through trees and puppets can’t have intimate sex scenes. So what? There was a time when we didn’t need our puppets to replace Jean Claude Van Damme. We were perfectly happy with our puppets having 2 men stuffed in the top end of a suit, not moving any further than the bar their stuck behind. But those characters looked real. They looked authentic. And they didn’t jar you out of your suspended reality. They blended so well with the rest of the world.
I know puppets have their limitations, but what they lend to the end product far outweighs anything computer generated parkour could bring. More should follow in the footsteps of Guillermo del Torro. More directors should use puppets.
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January 12th, 2010 sharif
I know someone out there just had an aneurysm over the title and I apologize for that. But certain thoughts just can’t be helped. While watching the 2nd highest grossing film in the world, I thought back to an article I read about Avatar which asked if this was the new Star Wars. In one word: Maybe.
I can see why this correlation would be made; Lucas was a visual effects pioneer and so is Cameron. The latter waited almost twelve years before the technology was in place for him to make his visual masterpiece. Lucas took an ages-old formula (the Hero’s Journey) and turned it into six box office busters while Cameron took that formula and made it look really, really nice. But what they have in visual aptitude they lack in dialogue, plot, and characterization.
Yes, anyone can say, “Oh I would have done this or that” or “I saw that coming a mile away” but does it hurt to be a little original along the way? If I were to come up with a synopsis in one sentence, it would be, “Dances with Wolves in the far off future in space.” Done. Doing so would be an injustice to Cameron and his team but alas, it is what it is; a grand visual epic that is truly the best-looking movie that has ever existed. CGI or not, this is how sci-fi should be; so damn beautiful that you can’t even tell what is CGI or what isn’t. During one scene when a helicraft is landing, I questioned whether the blades of moving grass were even real. And the facial expressions that were captured exceeded my jaded expectations.
But like Lucas, he is reaching into his past bag of tricks and amending them to be part of his universe. Yes, everyone likes a solid formula (guy gets girl, loses girl, fights heaven and earth to get her and they live happily ever after) but that formula needs to be tweaked so that it resembles nothing like it’s former self. For example, The Abyss; man and woman in midst of divorce are commissioned by the military to help Marines retrieve a nuclear device. There are some drill grunts, the engineers, and the grunts. The drill grunts are weary of the Marines and the husband and wife work together albeit hesitantly. The aliens below want to prevent war from occurring and interact to save us all. Bad Marine dies, the rest atone, happy ending. Aliens; Ripley is woken up over seven decades later by a corporation who needs her assistance with the Aliens. She becomes an adoptive mother of the sole survivor of a colony ravaged by aliens. The greedy corporate hedgehog gets his just desserts, all of the Marines except one good guy and one robot die, and the last Marines to die do so honorably via sacrifice. Ripley beats up momma alien. Everyone is happy. Until Fincher’s debut causes Scanners-like head explosions around the world due to its pure IDGAF (I Don’t Give A Fuck) attitude concerning the surviving characters, except Ripley of course. T2; authority issues, scientist sacrifices self, mother sacrifices life for child and future. Avatar; Dances with Wolves in space. A VERY sexy looking Dances with Wolves in space.
Don’t get me wrong, technically, Cameron can’t be touched. He’s taken what Peter Jackson and George Lucas have accomplished and turned it up a trillion volts. He is the King of Pop Cinema and it would take another technical visionary to come close to what he has accomplished (Neil Blomkampf may be that man) but please Jim, let someone work with you to tighten up those plots and characters. Maybe he should use a recycle system like the plastic bottles with the numbers. You can only recycle them but so many times.
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January 8th, 2010 Jeff
As a dork/nerd/geek you find that the people you meet tend to have a lot in common with one another. It’s probably one of the few subcultures where so many of your interests line up with others. Geek culture tends to be a self-feeding cycle where the more nerds you meet, the nerdier activities you’re introduced to and the more you tend to love it. I have found that to be true in just about every area of nerdom, except one. Anime.
I can sit back and watch the beautiful artwork of an anime any day. The genre has a distinctive style that is recognizable instantly, even by the layman. The content carries adult themes, but not always adult execution and I think this is where it falters for me. Not being an anime guru, maybe it’s just what I’m watching, but it’s difficult for me to get past the cheesiness of it. The bug-eyed moments of frustration, the bad voice acting, the strange whimpering noises and lastly, the fascination with school girl heroines. When it all comes together the final package leaves a sulfuric taste in my mouth.
Part of the problem is my highly Americanized sense of theater or pacing. Anime seems to bounce all over the map sometimes in the direction that a story may go in. The pacing is….different, for lack of a better word. I can’t quite get my arms around it.
The female heroines often become uncomfortable for me because their typically boobalicious and bouncy. All those years spent denying I had a crush on Smurfette makes the sexualization of an animated character off-putting. I feel awkward watching an animated love scene, but most of that awkwardness is due to outside forces, not internal forces. I worry about how I might be perceived if someone sees me watching this clip with no context. I remember watching Kitty Grade on the train during a commute to work. I was so incredibly embarrassed that I had to turn the episode off until I got home. It seems silly that at 31 years young I’m still concerned with how strangers perceive me, but you have to admit that this can be taken out of context. If someone was watching two animated characters make out on the bus, what type of frame would it give that person if you met them through a mutual acquaintance later? I’m sure you’d be able to say “That’s the dude!” and everyone would know what you were talking about.
Because I’ve always been so in-step with geek culture, it pains me to have to write-off anime as a loss. I feel like I could be missing out on something spectacular. I’ve tried a few animes in the past and with Hulu offering a decent set of them I’m currently giving them another shot. (Virus is my current viewing attempt) Here’s what I’ve watched so far, along with if I enjoyed it or not.
- Apple Seed – 4/5
- Akira – 3/5 (the first 60 minutes gets 5/5)
- Kitty Grade – 2/5
- Blue Submarine No. 6 – 2.5/5
- Bleach – 2/5
- Ninja Scroll 3/5
- Afro Samurai 4/5
- Sword of the Stranger 3/5
- Ghost in the Shell 2/5 (This movie bores me to sleep every time)
There are plenty of others, but these are the ones that come to mind and these are supposed to be some of the best works out there. My geek-dom doesn’t want to give up, but I’m getting close to waving the white flag.
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December 24th, 2009 Jeff
I managed to snag a good deal on a refurbished Dell Mini. It was a purchase I had been toying with for awhile. It probably wasn’t something that I needed, but could definitely find a use for. Let me give you some background. (It’s also an attempt to justify the expense, so bare with me)
I enjoy working at a desk. It’s a lot easier for me to focus in a designated space set aside for work, than say on the couch. So a few months ago I setup my office to hook my laptop up to a keyboard, mouse and monitor. (And external hard drives) The setup was great, except one thing; I typically want to surf the web when I watch TV or I’m in the living room. In the world of docking stations, this is an easy task, but with my Macbook Pro it’s a bit of a pain in the ass.
Now I’m using the Dell Mini as my web machine and I’ll put the Macbook Pro in the office, connected to all its devices where it belongs. The weird side effect of this arrangement is that I’m now beginning to see just how much of my activity is done on the web. While I enjoy and prefer thick clients, I must have silently been moving towards more web-centric solutions. With the use of Google Docs, the only thing I really can’t do on the Dell Mini is my task management system (I use OmniFocus) and any apps that require heavy lifting. (Photo editing, video editing etc)
Do you have a netbook? Do you use it as a primary machine? I’m a strong believer of the netbook being a small footprint device without a lot of actual applications on it. I’m currently running Ubuntu Netbook Remix which has a kind of stylized interface specifically geared towards the use patterns of a netbook. (Or at least my own use patterns)
My only complaint so far is the craptastic touchpad of the Dell. But to be perfectly honest, I find that most PCs have a crappy touchpad. It’s a far cry from the precision allowed on the Apple platform. PCs seem to implement a lot of features on the touchpad, but not very well. So you end up dragging icons places you didn’t want to, clicking places you weren’t supposed to and just a general lack of precision with the pointer in general. Turning off all the “extras” helped a lot, but it’s still not a good implementation.
All in all, I think I’ll really enjoy this device. Ubuntu has also been a PLEASURE to use. Linux interfaces have come along way since I last used them as a desktop. (1998)
Maybe some of you will be lucky enough for Santa to drop one of these in your Christmas stocking. (I think it will just barely fit) Happy Holidays to all!
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December 16th, 2009 Jeff
I’ve spent the past few days catching up on my podcasts that I’ve woefully neglected as of late. One of the recurring themes on my tech brand of shows has been a time honored tradition of bashing AT&T and their bad network, poor call quality and general customer dissatisfaction. As an iPhone user I can sympathize with the cries of outrage. AT&T has violated their agreement to me, the customer, yet still expects that I pay my bill on time. As I log in to their website to fulfill my half of the contract, I listen to Internet celebrities like Leo Laporte poke fun at AT&T and think to myself; Maybe this time we’ve gone too far.
My cellular plan is just over $100 dollars per month for 450 minutes and 1500 text messages. Compared to other carriers, this is not a substantial amount of talk time, but it serves my needs. Despite this steep price point, I pay it because of what the iPhone allows me to do. (Cellular coverage willing) It’s no secret that AT&T has issues. Whether you subscribe to the belief that the iPhone has outpaced all reasonable expectations in terms of adoption or not, one simple fact remains. We pay our bills in exchange for a service. AT&T is falling far short of delivering that service consistently, but believe it or not they are in fact trying to remedy the situation. Like any business, the key to customer satisfaction is a simple but effective strategy. Ask the customer what the problem is.
AT&T has rolled out a new iPhone application that allows you to report coverage problems to them and describe the nature of the problem. It’s a smart idea, because it allows you to do it quickly and easily at the point that your experiencing the problem. The application uses your GPS location (so I imagine 1st gen users are out of luck) to identify your whereabouts and then submits that information to the cloud once cell service has been re-established. This gives AT&T real, hard data in which they can go about solving the problem of coverage and capacity.
So why is it that show after show, I hear people poking fun at AT&T for rolling this product out? Is there something funny that I missed? Maybe AT&T is supposed to use their crystal ball to gaze through the abyss and into our mind’s eye to know when and where we’re having a problem. Or maybe we expect them to hire staff to search through Twitter feeds for “at&t sucks” which produces a sizable number of responses, but zero bits of usable data.
I hate AT&T as much as the next guy, but I see this application as a good start to addressing some of their issues. Maybe it should have never gotten to this point at all. Maybe I shouldn’t have overdraft my account purchasing a $2.00 Pepsi. Shit happens. The only thing we can do is address the issue going forward. Yes, Twitter is right, AT&T sucks. But they don’t have to languish in the underbelly of customer satisfaction surveys forever. I’m not defending AT&T as a company. They’ve pissed me off quite a bit over the years. I just don’t think we should immediately strike down an idea because it came from a company we’ve historically hated. (Partisan politics could take a note too, but I digress)
AT&T is trying to climb out of this mess and is asking us for our help. If all we can do is make jokes about it, maybe the problem isn’t that big after all. If you want to do something about it, download “AT&T Mark This Spot” (Yes it’s a shitty name)
p.s. No hate for Leo Laporte, he’s just the last guy I heard laughing about it on Mac Break Weekly. It prompted me to immediately pause the show and write this post.
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May 19th, 2009 sharif
"I will cut you!"
1. Post-apocalyptic landscape – check
2. Emaciated, thin, hungry freedom fighters – check
3. Human emotions vs. emotionless machines – check
4. Terrible, terrible cameos – check
5. Christian Bale being showed up by Sam Worthington in the acting department – check
6. Unintentional humor – check
Last night, a group of us were able to see a promo of McG’s (McLoving’s long forgotten cousin) Terminator: Salvation, a reboot-continuation of the James Cameron classic. As we waited in anticipation, the lights came on and a middle aged man announced that cellphones need to be on vibrate yet if any of these cameras are seen pointing at the screen, you will be asked to leave and most likely be facing a felony charge. Yikes. Good thing I just brought my regular spy cam. Just kidding. No really, I am.
After watching the shitastic trailer of The Hangover (a comedy trailer before a sci-fi flick? Cmon!), the Halycon Company splash appeared and the fun began. And I will place a serious emphasis on FUN. Yes, this is a good Terminator movie. This isn’t a groundbreaking entry to the canon yet it does continue the struggle between man and machine with great fanfare and lots of explosions. And surprisingly enough, a little romance without all the ‘Let’s have sex like there’s no tomorrow because you know, there may not be’. That was offscreen as evidenced by Kate Connor’s expanding belly. Thanks for sparing us that.
Sam Worthington opens the film as Marcus Wright, a convict on death row, who is being convinced to donate his body to science by Helena Bonham Carter who is looking a little scary as a cancer-stricken scientist. She tells him that it is a way to save the human race and Marcus sells her his body for a kiss from her. “That’s what death tastes like.” Is that a not-so-subtle way of saying, “Damn your breath is funky?” Queue unintentional humor list, now. Fast forward to 2018 where John Connor and his team infiltrate a SkyNet facility in a land that looks like Mad Max’s backyard. John Connor is the only survivor of this expedition and here we are introduced to Terry Crews’ dead body. Yep, one shot of our man Terry laying dead. He didn’t even have a chance to do the robot. Unintentional humor again. And it doesn’t end there.
After the destruction of the facility, we see Marcus Wright again this time screaming the primal scream of a man reborn. And looking exactly the same as when he was executed. Hmmm. Not like the trailers hid the twist involving Marcus but I am not spoiling that here. What I will say is that this movie is a huge funny yet enjoyable mess. It is entertaining, loud, and never drags but one has to wonder; when will this war end? Why aren’t they dealing in collapsed timelines rather than band-aiding a single continuum that can seemingly collapse on itself and wipe out the entire human universe? I digress because what can you expect from someone that made Charlies Angels?
But I have to say that the single worse part of the entire film was Ahnuld’s ‘cameo’ appearance; a piss poor CGI-rendering of his face on Roland Kickapoo’s chiseled body (I’m sorry but Ahnuld was not THAT damned big). A T-800 Halloween mask on Quinton Jackson would have worked better. Honestly, how can one spend $150 million plus on a popcorn flick and not have decent CGI-rendering? Anthony Hopkins looked better in Red Dragon! Oh and there was one other scene where John Connor sneaks into SkyNet just as a Terminator sentry approaches. The Terminator seemingly looks around as though it heard something then it looks as if it shrugs its shoulders and continues on its way. I couldn’t refrain from laughing at that as several critics turned around and sneered at me. Sorry, I found it funny.
All in all, T4 is not a terrible movie (for that, see S. Darko, Dragonball Z: Evolutions, or Push) even with the unintentional laughs (after you see the film, you’ll understand why I have the Tin Man photo above), comparisons to Mad Max’s apocalyptic geography, Ahnuld’s terrible CGI-face, and Terry Crews’ wicked brief appearance, it was a good time. Don’t expect it to break any new ground or explain how Kate went from a veterinarian to a physician (probably archives of Wiki) but do expect to enjoy the introduction of some new Terminators and some throwback scenes that seemed to have been ripped from the previous three films. Have fun. I’m seeing Star Trek tomorrow. IMAX stylee. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
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May 18th, 2009 sharif
Looks like he would be a better DeBarge
Um, BIG WTF!?!? I am not a knee jerk liberal or conservative or anything politically inclined but when I read that Jamie Foxx is being considered to portray Frank Sinatra to be directed by Martin Scorsese I almost had to look at my calender to make sure it wasn’t April 1st. I mean really, Jamie Foxx? According to the IMDB blurb, it states, “…Leonardo DiCaprio and Harry Connick Jr. were among the names rumoured to be in contention for the role after it was announced earlier this month that filmmaker Martin Scorsese will direct a biopic. But now African-American actor Foxx, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of Ray Charles in 2004′s Ray, has emerged as the favourite to play Ol’ Blue Eyes.”
Really? Jamie is a bonafide star who chooses some dicey roles and records music that I don’t necessary dig but does he have what it takes to tackle a role that recalls Orson Wells or Sir Laurence Olivier as Othello in blackface?
Digging back into the archaic movie reference which is my mind, Canada Lee, an African-American musician, boxer, jockey, actor and pre-Civil Rights pioneer who actually worked with Orson Welles several times, played an European man in white face for a play with John Huston back in the 40s. He faced many polarizing reviews from critics who felt he approached the character in an over-exaggerated fashion while others felt he tackled the role as beautifully as his past roles. What he conveyed was not a caricature of a person but the character of a misunderstood man. Whether the character was white or black is inconsequential.
As I write this a part of me is screaming, “But isn’t this what many people struggled for? To be accepted as an artist first and foremost without consideration for race or culture?” You can imagine the dilemma I face; a black man is considered to play an Italian crooner and I am raising a fuss? I am raising a fuss because this is different yet the same; Christopher Lee as Fu Manchu, Al Jolson in blackface, Li Gong as a Geisha. The list goes on and I don’t have the time (my boss is yelling my name as I write this).
All I am getting at is get the right actor for the job. Don’t take an icon to many people the world over and polarize them because of a choice that could possibly spell the end for Scorsese and even Foxx. Or it could be the most daring, profound piece of film ever made. Only time will tell. And an Oscar may be in waiting in the rafters. I just don’t know how Jamie is going to look in blue contacts. Maybe they’ll get Adrien Brody to play Sammy Davis, Jr.
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May 8th, 2009 Jeff
The wing man is a position that a good friend will always aspire to be. The great thing about a wingman is there is no requirement of being single. The job of the wing man is to deflect and push off any attention away from himself and place it squarely on that of you. His job is to give you the glory. I can’t think of a better person suited for the job than a Klingon.
If Worf were your wingman you’d be all set. The singles scene would open wide for you. Look at any episode where Worf and Picard are together. The way he looks at Picard just screams “Dude..you are SO awesome!” It’s the ultimate sign of respect dabbled with just a *pinch* of fear. Not enough to be a turn off, but just enough to be sexy to the ladies.
Another great benefit of having Worf as your wingman are the stories. Imagine the scene, Worf is left with the ladies while you’re in the restroom.
“So Worf, where did you two meet?”
“In Combat!”
If that’s not an awesome opener you really had no chance of getting a date with this girl anyways. Something about hearing Worf’s deep bellowing voice professing his admiration of your “guile” in the Khitomer Massacre is sure to win you some brownie points. That far away look he gets as he begins to mentally recant the gritty details of a battle that, more than likely, he wasn’t even a part of. But that’s OK because it makes for great cannon fodder over drinks.
The benefits don’t stop there though. Worf has a very imposing presence to him. He’s mean and tough looking, potentially scaring any competition away. This is a good thing because it allows you to focus on your interaction with the ladies. If someone does approach your table, you don’t even have to break a sweat, because you know Worf won’t let any transgression go by unchallenged. The best part though; anyone who’s watched a Next Generation episode knows that Worf’s real worth is in taking double axe handle punches to the face. So while the bad guys are tiring themselves out beating his ass, you can come in, mop up and look like the savior. Thanks to Worf’s size, nobody would suspect he fights like a 12 year old girl with an iron jaw. The bonus points continue.
Worf has a thing about worthiness. Once he’s accepted you into his circle, it’s difficult for him to be convinced that anyone else is worthy of that person’s companionship. While not a great long term turn on, for the short term, it does instill a great sense of curiosity on the opposite sex. “What is it about this man that makes his Klingon friend so die hard and loyal.” The reality is simple. Worf is dumb is as a brick, but as long as he’s seen you punch a man for a sufficient cause by Klingon standards, you’ve pretty much got his attention for life.
“Your friend seems kind of weird Worf”
(Worf getting that deep sneer) “You DARE dishonor my friend. He has bested many in BATTLE. He’s earned more glory than you could possibly fathom. You should be HONORED that he lets you drink in his presence!”
Again, in the long term, not so hot. But in some fancy club lighting and a martini or two later, that sounds like a man willing to die for his friend. And once you get Worf rolling on how you’ve “sacrificed” for him, you’re a lock. The uniform is a nice touch too.
Now you’re probably thinking that you have a friend that could play the same role, but the keyword is “play”. Worf believes this whole hearteadly, making the exchange become that more powerful, endearing and ultimately effective.
Worf, if I were single, you could be my wingman anytime.
(In a perfect world Worf would be here to say “Bullshit. You can be mine” Alas, life is full of imperfections and this Top Gun reference will go unfulfilled)
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May 8th, 2009 Jeff
Space Drama, Future Set Action/Thriller, Space Horror. Any of these names would more accurately describe a litany of movies that have come out recently and have been categorized as Science-Fiction, up to and including J.J. Abrahms re-launch of the Star Trek franchise.
However somewhere along the line, we as an audience have lost sight of what real science-fiction is all about. Today’s definition really just means the film has a lot of special effects and is probably set in space or sometime in the future. Other than that it’s really just an action adventure film, with no real questions raised, no social commentary given. But this is the realm where science fiction reigned. The beauty of the genre was that it could challenge social norms and values, but wrap it in an off-world approach.
Racism was rampant in the 60′s when Star Trek first took to the airways. It made sense, in a neanderthal kind of way that people had differences and prejudices based on history, and a lot of it simply on ignorance of one another. Take the episode “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield“, the Enterprise comes across a political refugee named Lokai, who is seeking asylum on the Enterprise. The alien is black on one side of his body and white on the other half. (Black, not African American) Later, Kirk and crew come across another member of the species, but his colors are reversed, black on the opposite half from Lokai. This difference is the center point of years of hatred and bigotry. Placed into the context of an hour long television show, this stand-point seems ludicrous, even to those deep routed bigots out there.
That’s the power of science fiction! It allows us to look at an issue from a different vantage point. It attempts to answer the question “what would happen if…”. What would happen if we could look into the future to fight crime? What would happen if we could achieve genetic perfection? What happens when we develop artificial intelligence? Is everlasting life a goal really worth pursuing? These are all questions that science fiction attempts to answer through a narrative. I feel like the best science fiction films has a question at the heart of it. I think that question though is slowly being replaced by bright lights and special effects.
While I’m one for a good popcorn film (I mean I DID go see Wolverine), I think these films almost merit a separate category. I’m just not sure what to call them. I feel as if science fiction has largely gone from being a genre, to just becoming a setting. If the film is in space, it’s science fiction. If it’s in the future, it’s science fiction. But in reality these are mostly action films in a typical science fiction setting. Again I’m not knocking these films, as they’re wildly entertaining. But they are different.
I was having an IM conversation when I compared old science fiction and new science fiction, to gospel music and Kirk Franklin music. They share similar characteristics, but they’re not the same. Maybe it’s an evolution of the genre, but I there are more than a few die-hards out there that enjoy the challenge of answering one of the many questions out there about the world, the universe, and our place in it as a people and a society.
What would we call such genres? How can we separate so that we know when we’re referring to old school vs. new school? It’ll be interesting to see how the trend continues.
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